I am truly sorry

April 28, 2013 ·

I know that seeing my name here on Transadvocate might trigger and anger a lot of you or at the very least, surprise you. I hurt a lot of my brothers and sisters during my romp in TS separatist land a while back. I was a pure bigot at the time and I really didn’t know that I was. When is the last time a bigot knew they were a bigot?  Only ex-bigots know they were bigots. I caused emotional damage to a lot of you and at the time I was doing this I thought I was fighting for a righteous cause. I even had this magic ability to diagnose, over the Internet, who was or wasn’t transsexual or transgender. I had magical powers that could determine your own identity for you.

But then in March of last year something happened that made me step back and look at myself. The cotton ceiling happened and I saw my sisters being drug through the mud and worse. Shamed and humiliated for being trans. When I saw this I was absolutely disgusting with myself. My heart ached for my part in hurting my own community. A community that is desperately in need of being accepted for who they are. Why should I have the right to define myself but not allow others to do the same? I went into hiding for the most part hoping the pain would go away but it never did.

So here I am to put myself in front of my community who I abused and ask for forgiveness. I don’t expect anyone to forgive me but I am hopeful. And for those who have wanted to confront me, yell and scream at me over the years, I invite you to do this in the comment section. I absolutely deserve it.  I am also opening myself up to attacks from people who have a lot of dirt on me in the non-trans-inclusive radical feminist community who I snuggled up with the entire time. This is one thing that has kept me so silent over the last year. I am terrified by it but realize I need to face this if I am ever to be set free from my own self-imposed oppression.

So, this is a short post but hope I will be able to write more for transadvocate if you all allow me to.

 

 

Next Post

Being Trans Affects Everything

It's not a lifestyle (and I hate that conservaterm).  When you swallow those hormones or take those first shots of testosterone or estrogen, it causes seismic shifts in your life that mere cis people can't begin to comprehend. But if…
Read
Previous Post

The Right Way To Be LGB Or T?

Back in 2009 I asked the the question if there were a right way to be LGB Or T. As I consider the personal difficulties of my past few years, especially those difficulties relating to community orthodoxies externally imposed on…
Read
Random Post

The TERF Appropriation of the Trans Day of Remembrance

A TERF hate-tracking site recently raised a warning that Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist (TERF) leaders are attempting to appropriate the Trans Day of Remembrance: Cathy Brennan, contributor to the Radfem2013 conference, has sunk to yet a new low.  She is now trying to exploit…
Read
Random Post

See Tumblr TERFs justify threatening to murder a trans kid

Tumblr TERF, radfem-momma apparently thinks it's okay to threaten trans kids with murder as long as you lie about the reason.   BACKSTORY: This post has to do with Tumblr TERFs trying to make the abuse a trans kid experienced by…
Read
Random Post

The Sound of Silence: The HRC National Dinner Protest

Last week I received an email from the Human Rights Campaign informing me that Joe Biden will be speaking at the the Human Rights Campaign National Dinner on October 4th, 2008.  Since that time I've expected to hear about an…
Read
Random Post

History Theft: How Gay and Lesbian Historians Appropriate Trans History

As far back as we have history of transgender people, we have appropriation (a nice word for theft) of our history by gays and lesbians. I wrote a post about Albert Cashier, who was a veteran of the Civil War…
Read