Closets Are For Clothes, Stealth Is For Planes

in Opinion

Recently, I read a blog post about an FTM complaining about being judged by other transgender people about living “stealth.” To those of you who feel the need to live secretly, I say this; if you wish to live your life in a closet that is your choice. But don’t be surprised when I judge you for this. For as long as folks with passing privilege hide in their closets, there will be a stigma attached to transgender people because they will be defined by those that don’t or aren’t trying to pass. By being stealth, you’re shaming yourself and those who are like you. If you want to do that, be my guest.

I don’t think you bad, immoral, or unethical for living a “stealth” existence. I would say you’re a coward and delusional, if you think that you can live stealth in todays world. There’s ALWAYS a path back to your birth gender, so you’re about as stealth as Valerie Plame.

There is no integrity in hiding. There is no integrity in shame. You don’t like that judgment? Tough shit. Those of us that choose to be out by choice get judged daily. But we do so, because we know that the people that know and love us will have hearts and minds changed because of us. Because of them knowing us. If you aren’t moving us forward, you’re setting us back. You don’t like that? Go hide in your closet.

Marti Abernathey is the founder of the Transadvocate and the previous managing editor. Abernathey has worn many different hats, including that of podcaster, activist, and radiologic technologist. She's been a part of various internet radio ventures such as TSR Live!, The T-Party, and The Radical Trannies, TransFM, and Sodium Pentathol Sunday. As an advocate she's previously been involved with the Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance, Rock Indiana Campaign for Equality, and the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition. She's taken vital roles as a grass roots community organizer in The Indianapolis Tax Day Protest (2003), The Indy Pride HRC Protest (2004), Transgender Day of Remembrance (2004), Indiana's Witch Hunt (2005), and the Rally At The Statehouse (the largest ever GLBT protest in Indiana - 3/2005). In 2008 she was a delegate from Indiana to the Democratic National Convention and a member of Barack Obama's LGBT Steering and Policy Committee.

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