Today’s Lesson in Rhetorical Anti-Excellence: How to Overplay a Hand to the Point of Turning it into a Gangrenous Foot

I thought for sure that the person who would overplay the gift handed to the Exterminationist Twins would be Cathy Brennan herself.

But…

Seen on Facebook one Wednesday afternoon in August:

While I certainly don’t want any Gay, Inc. vampires or Raymondistic trans-exterminationist vampires (first or second generation) in my house, is it really accurate to say that merely mentioning a vampire means that you’re mentioning someone that everyone wants to kill?  Tom was kind enough to mention Twilight and True Blood, neither of which I’m really into even though I am aware enough of them to know that, even though there are some folks within those franchises who view vampires negatively there are plenty who view them orgasmically as well.

But lets think about some other vampires who, if you were to assert that a comparison of yourself to any of them was somehow a threat of violence, the only actual violence that would ensue would be your own attempts to escape the clutches of the white-suited people who will be taking you to the rubber room.

Merely mentioning a vampire means that you’re mentioning someone that everyone wants to kill, eh?

Even Grandpa Munster?  (Cue up the countdown to some Exterminationism Twins defender mentioning the Munsters episode in which Grandpa turns himself into a sorority girl to rescue Herman who, while in a Grandpa-induced coma was placed inside the Alpha Kappa sorority house; also cue up the countdown to some Exterminationism Twins defender claiming that Herman was a misogynistic criminal for invading the private space of the sorority house while comatose.)

Even George Hamilton as Dracula?  (Yes, there were some folks who were trying to kill him – though with one of them being Richard Benjamin’s Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg and another being the head of a hungry family who thought that the in-bat-form Hamilton was simply a little black chicken that he could feed his family with its difficult to take much of that seriously - but the Romanian government really just wanted his castle.)

Even Susan St. James as Cindy Sondheim? (Remember, at the very end of Love at First Bite she becomes a vampire too; okay, her cat might have wanted to kill her but (1) we don’t know that as it wasn’t in the film, (2) wouldn’t you want to kill somone who locked you in a refrigerator?, and (3) she locked the cat in the fridge before she became a vampire so, technically, the issue is not relevant to this discussion.)

Even Dracula as portrayed by a still-young-and-good-looking, pre-Frost/Nixon Frank Langella? 

Even Count Floyd from SCTV?  (Yes, he voiced the intro to one song by a group that’s a bit too heavily influenced by Ayn Rand, but I can’t imagine anyone really holding that against him – not even Ed Grimley.)

Even The Count from Sesame Street? (C’mon…he’s The Count from Sesame Street!)

Even The Vampire Lovers?

I hereby declare the hubbub involving the Casebeer-Roberts Facebook conversation to be over and resolved in favor of Casebeer and Roberts – not that anything Tom said about it above is inaccurate or that their engaging in such a conversation in that forum was any brighter of a move than it obvously wasn’t.  However, we all – and I mean all – knew that it was just going to be a tool that the trans-exterminationists and/or their Stockholm Syndrome-addled cyber entourage would use to attempt to attain victimhood.

Well, that’s working about as well as CONTROL’s cone of silence.

Here’s looking at you, skid.

[Cross-posted at ENDABlog]