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If You Don’t Like The Word Transgender, Please Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya…

I wrote this on a Facebook friend’s page after she complained about getting attacked for posting a link to this post. But I’m reposting my response here for anyone who erases my transsexual identity because I also self identify as transgender.

I’m one of those people that are just sick to death of you and those like you. Ranting about “transgender” people as if they are not or cannot be transsexual. Erasing our existence to justify your own. So much irony in that. You claim that you are being erased, yet YOU erase other people by claiming to speak for all transsexuals.

Feeling like you’re personally being attacked when you attack other people, invalidate their lives, and make us invisible?!?! My biggest problem with Ashley Love and her ilk is that they cannot and will not respect MY EXISTENCE as a transgender person and a transsexual.

Transgender is an umbrella term for securing rights LEGALLY. I’m medically diagnosed with GID, am a transsexual by terms used by the medical profession, and I’m transgender under the umbrella of rights I’m fighting for.

If someone kicks you out of a homeless shelter because of how you look, that’s your gender presentation, not your genital configuration. If someone kills you because you “look like a transgender”, REGARDLESS OF SURGICAL STATUS, that’s gender presentation. If you’re denied a job because of HOW YOU LOOK, regardless of what surgeries you’ve had, that’s gender presentation. If you’re not gender variant/have cis-privilege, then stop your bitching and live your life as the woman you are. No one will call you transgender if they don’t know.

This is nothing short of a Ford vs.Chevy, Pepsi vs Coke, iPhone vs Android, Steelers vs Dallas, team rivalry crap. And the irony of all this is that you don’t see this kind of bullshit division with trans men. Why is that?

I’m tired of the whole lot of you. You are going to end up causing trans people of all flavors to need papers to justify their existence. It’s already happened in Connecticut. And it’s all because you don’t want to be viewed as being in the same league with “men in dresses”.

Wailing about how poorly you’re being treated while SMEARING OTHER PEOPLE is called passive-aggressiveness. Don’t expect people who you smear to feel bad for you. I’m not going to de-friend you just yet because I want you to read and see this. But I’m done with this crap, and anyone that spouts this drivel gets de-friended.

It’s not called the Transsexual Day of Remembrance, but the Transgender Day of Remembrance. People all along the gender spectrum are becoming victims of violence, discrimination,  and abuse, regardless of their genital configuration. If you pass (have cis-privilege) and have no use for the term or the rights we are fighting for, then by all means just go on living your life. You don’t need these protections? Fine. But there are people that don’t pass and do need non-discrimination protections in the workplace, in housing, and in credit. Without these vital protections they are DYING.

It’s time someone stood up and said this, without any varnish or without reservation. It might as well be me. Please, don’t let the door hit ya ….

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Transadvocate contributor: Marti Abernathey  (1926 Posts)

Marti Abernathey is Transadvocate.com's blog editor. She's also a podcaster, activist, and radiologic technologist in Madison, Wisconsin. She's been a part of various internet radio ventures such as TSR Live!, The T-Party, and The Radical Trannies, to name a few. As an advocate she's previously been involved with the Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance, Rock Indiana Campaign for Equality, and the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition. She's taken vital roles as a grass roots community organizer in The Indianapolis Tax Day Protest (2003), The Indy Pride HRC Protest (2004), Transgender Day of Remembrance (2004), Indiana's Witch Hunt (2005), and the Rally At The Statehouse (the largest ever GLBT protest in Indiana - 3/2005). She was a delegate from Indiana to the Democratic National Convention and a member of Barack Obama's LGBT Steering and Policy Committee.


  • http://twitter.com/cristanwilliams cristanwilliams

    We lost a trans sister to murder Monday night here in Houston. She was shot in the head and thrown away with the trash at an apartment complex dumpster.

    Of course, the police and news misgender her. Public comments on news articles are calling for the death of all of us saying things like  ”… give [the killer] more ammo! Get these freaks of nature off the streets!”
    I recently posted about this issue in my blog as well. In the Transgender Archive, we have lots of original documentation showing that we have traditionally been one community:http://www.cristanwilliams.com/b/2011/06/02/transgender-vs-transsexual-round-2-fight/ 

  • http://twitter.com/valeriekeefe Valerie Keefe

    … marry me. My girlfriend won’t mind.

  • Anonymous

    If you are medically diagnosed and you are going through transition and you are committed to the process, you are transsexual..  This has NOTHING to do with surgery but everything about commitment to the process. 

    The term transgender as an “umbrella” term is an attempt by crossdressers and genderqueers to deny transsexuals of our medical rights by demanding an “us too” attitude on public health issues as well as devalue to transition process along the way. 

    Those who don’t play by the rules want to see it this way.  I have news for everyone, transition isn’t cheap and without the correct psychological and medical guidance, you will still be a crossdresser at the end of the day. 

    We must also respect the rights of cis-gender people as well as the rights of transsexuals.. but if every drag queen, fetisher and genderqueer who is not on prescribed hormones and still has a full sex drive in their birth gender demands access to opposite gender restrooms, you are right that cis-gender people will be concerned. 

    Third party certification of gender identity is paramount to obtaining the social rights of gender expression (transgender) and the medical rights of gender identity (transsexual).

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002561143259 Michelle Love

      “”The term transgender as an “umbrella” term is an attempt by
      crossdressers and genderqueers to deny transsexuals of our medical
      rights by demanding an “us too” attitude on public health issues as well
      as devalue to transition process along the way.     Those who don’t play by the rules want to see it this way.  I have news
      for everyone, transition isn’t cheap and without the correct
      psychological and medical guidance, you will still be a crossdresser at
      the end of the day.    “”

      okay,… I am NOT arguing with you, but…. do you have any proof of this ?
      I mean,  can you show evidence of this that I can look at and verify  ?
      I myself have not observed this. I have met some pretty silly CD’s and drag queens in clubs ( I DJ for a living) and support groups, but none of them have ever actually done anything to do what you suggest. In fact, none of them have ever done anything. (again, this is only my personal experience)
      They don’t write congress, they don’t go to TDOR, they don’t seem to know any of the history surrounding transsexual history. They do show up for the parties though ! In fact they seem to be completely uninformed about discrimination laws, HRT, FFS, SRS, name changes, etc. They (“drag queens, fetisher and genderqueer, etc” )don’t seem to be very knowledgeable or concerned with any aspect of transitioning. Let alone attempting to as you say:  “deny transsexuals of our medical
      rights by demanding an “us too” attitude on public health issues as well
      as devalue to transition process along the way. ”

      The only “us too” I ever have witnessed is when the work is done  and it’s time for the after party.

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  • http://manicsquirrel.com Carla Lewis

    As a transsexual, I’m giving a lecture to a local college psychology class next week. I have to admit, that I have a bit of trouble with the term “transgender” as defined by GLAAD that includes, “cross-dressers and other gender-variant people”.

    The reason I have trouble with it, is because it includes people like Frank Marino, a white heterosexual female impersonator. He doesn’t care about the lack of equal rights for himself, because for him, it is a job, like an actor.

    At one of our local gay clubs is a long time performer and emcee that is married with children and affirms his heterosexuality. Neither Frank Marino or this person identify as female nor are they “cross dressers” outside of work.

  • http://manicsquirrel.com Carla Lewis

    Darn, I had more to say and accidentally posted the last comment. Ummmmm…anyway, the gay drag performer already has an advocate in HRC, some gay legislators, losts of Gay Inc. money, and has been removed from the DSM.

    Therefore, contrary to the popular definition, I don’t believe that drag queens are transgender (because they are drag queens), any more than Robin Williams is transgender for playing Ms. Doubtfire or the local high school jocks are for cross dressing at Halloween.

  • http://manicsquirrel.com Carla Lewis

    Lastly, is an occasion cross dresser “transgender”? I don’t know. Again, is it any different than the local high school jocks dressing as women for Halloween? How many consecutive days must you cross dress before you cross the line from wearing a costume to being transgender? Must you identify as a gender opposite your assigned birth sex to be consider transgender? If so, wouldn’t that remove many, many cross dressers from that definition?