I know that seeing my name here on Transadvocate might trigger and anger a lot of you or at the very least, surprise you. I hurt a lot of my brothers and sisters during my romp in TS separatist land a while back. I was a pure bigot at the time and I really didn’t know that I was. When is the last time a bigot knew they were a bigot? Only ex-bigots know they were bigots. I caused emotional damage to a lot of you and at the time I was doing this I thought I was fighting for a righteous cause. I even had this magic ability to diagnose, over the Internet, who was or wasn’t transsexual or transgender. I had magical powers that could determine your own identity for you.
But then in March of last year something happened that made me step back and look at myself. The cotton ceiling happened and I saw my sisters being drug through the mud and worse. Shamed and humiliated for being trans. When I saw this I was absolutely disgusting with myself. My heart ached for my part in hurting my own community. A community that is desperately in need of being accepted for who they are. Why should I have the right to define myself but not allow others to do the same? I went into hiding for the most part hoping the pain would go away but it never did.
So here I am to put myself in front of my community who I abused and ask for forgiveness. I don’t expect anyone to forgive me but I am hopeful. And for those who have wanted to confront me, yell and scream at me over the years, I invite you to do this in the comment section. I absolutely deserve it. I am also opening myself up to attacks from people who have a lot of dirt on me in the non-trans-inclusive radical feminist community who I snuggled up with the entire time. This is one thing that has kept me so silent over the last year. I am terrified by it but realize I need to face this if I am ever to be set free from my own self-imposed oppression.
So, this is a short post but hope I will be able to write more for transadvocate if you all allow me to.